Sunday, June 29, 2008

Come and get ur daddy PLEASE

I was browsing around OBC today and lo and behold, look who wants to have a bootycall

Height: 5'10"
Weight: 180
State: WI
Ethnicity: Black / African descent
Orientation: Straight
Expectation: Friends first, benefits later

ORLY! GTFOH!!! Are you serious???? Yeah lemme get right on that. Das exactly what I'm looking for! A damn Cat-Daddy! What would make him think that a fine, young tender-roni' such as myself, would be interested???? I guess I gotta Give him an 'A' for effort. Talking about his expectations are "Friends first, benefits later". What da hell kinda benefits? Social Security? Medicare? He is killing me softly with that pank ass(what is that rayon? silk?)short set. I bet you 2 Crispy Ranch Snack Wraps(no lettuce, extra ranch)that he has on some sort of slip-n-slides on with no socks. Y/N? I'm too dead that this shyt right here. Well put me in my casket and bury me a G!!! I'm done!

P.S. If you reading this, Mr. Old Dude, if u wanna come by in your El Dorado and share your Meals on Wheels lunch with me, I guess that would be cool. It's better than what I have going on currently.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stop the press! Who's that?

Great day in the morning!!!!! Have you ever seen such Big Boy Sexy before??? OMG!!!! Rick Ross is the truth!!!! He, to me, is the epitome of sexy. The things I would to to all of that...mmmmmmmmmmm man boobs! And to think that he's dating Foxxy Brown scorches my grits! So I'm putting an open invite to the heffa to an old fashion beat down. He needs a big girl to show him the Way, the Truth, and the Light. She doesn't know what to do with all of that. I do! Trust and believe. Well lemme go and dry my tears.....

Thursday, June 19, 2008

79 Missed Calls

My guy Mr. Smoke and Mirrors is over here tonight indulging in sum illegals with me and this cat's phone is off the meter. This chick has been calling him since about 9:15. As of right now we are at call 79! WHO DA FUCK calls sumbody like that? What is that fucking important? He thinks it's the dack. I had to ask him if he dips his shyt in heroin or sumthing? That would be a fucked up trick to play on a bitch. I would only want HIS dack. No other dack would do it for me. Pussy lips looking like Pookie's dry ass mouth. Willing to to anything for THAT dack. LOL!

Lemme shut my high ass up.....

P.S. I think she's just silly.


I know somebody’s gonna get mad when I say this. I know it’s a generalization….. but these Milwaukee dudes are crazy! Why is it sooooo hard to meet a nice guy? Why do guys try to talk to you and upon rejection they want to tell you how u aint this and that? Why do things have to get soooooooooo ugly? Why is every Milwaukee cat against dating? Why do all Milwaukee cats wanna get down but they say they aint “trix”? Everything on u is cool. Ur gas, ur time and whatever else you decide to add to the mix yet they don’t even have the common sense to buy a rubber if u wanted to give them sum.

Why is something simple as dating like pullin teeth? R the guys really that broke or just that damn cheap? What happened to chivalry? Why does a guy feel like if he takes you out hes a trick?

If you’ve been to a swing party (more than one) does that make u a swinger? Why does that turn a man on until he finds out that he cant cut? Why can a guy have the same amount of lovers but you be considered promiscuous and he not be? He's a player, pimp and ur a hoodrat, a bopper a jumpdown. did i miss something?

I thought I had found my new baby daddy. Nuthin lost nuthin gained. Well actually I’ve gained good friend/partner/lover. A cheap Milwaukee nigga’s loss, another’s gain. I’m good but im jus sayin. When does the vicious cycle end. The cycle where a guy is a trick if hes nice to a girl or “spends money” and if the guy don’t spend no money then the girl says he cant get none. Really the circle has to stop somewhere……

Remember this:

Anything worth havin is worth earning
Nothing meaningful is easy
You get what u pay for

I could go on and on but I wont. Not today anyways……

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Stepping to da mike......

I have been having issues with keeping y'all updated on a daily sooooooooooooo I'm going to start having guest contributors. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....sounds fancy don't it????

Taking a stab at y'all 1st will be my girl Meltz! She, like me, is a natural DIVA! But, don't get it twisted, she'll verbally cut yo ass down to size. I swear she was gonna whoop the nurses ass after I had my youngest. U'll have to ask her about that one. : )

So without further ado........

MELTZ!!!!!! Where u at girl??!!??

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Speak up! I can't hear ya!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey boo-boo kitty fucks!!! How y'all be? Wondering where I've been?? I know folks read this shyt, they just don't comment. How do I know? Cause they call and tell me. Leave a comment, then maybe others will too! :)


Guess what! I can't fuckin hear! If you know me, then you know that I haven't been able to hear in my left ear for over 7 years. Fine no problem, I have another one. Well now I starting to lose the hearing in my damn right ear! What kind of "Jesus Doesn't Love Me, This I Know" shyt is that? It's kinda scary. I talk on the damn phone for a living! Ummmmmmmm how da hell is that gonna work if a bytch can't hear??? I guess I really will be po', broke, and lonely. Damn! Speaking of which, who dates the deaf girl??? Nobody, that's who. All this cuteness going to waste. Niccas will be like "she's cute but, I can't talk to her cause DA BITCH CAN'T HEAR" Riiiiiiiiiiight...this scenario is getting better and better by the minute.

I bet Big Boy nd Little Boy will think this is the greatest thing since I "lost"(by lost I mean I think they threw it away)my big belt. I can see it now, cause I sure can't hear it, these little nigglets will be around here doing and saying anything. Damn!

You would think that as nosey as I am, by now I would have mastered the fine art of reading lips. Oh well...I'm going to do sum illegals and go back to sleep...

"Blindness cuts you off from things but, deafness cuts you off from people"
Helen Keller

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Well, that's that.

Me and CAM are officially over.

Today IS my birthday mind you. What did I get? A series of IMs and a phone call with "the otha chick"! Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Just what I always wanted. It really wasn't that bad. I talked to her for about a hour. Really the only conclusions I came to were A) CAM needs a fucking leash and B)This chica is special. Alls I know is at the end of the conversation, I was left with the impression that she is gonna stay with him regardless. I told her myself that she deserves better than that(she's kinda cute, if she happens to read his, HOLLA!).

I'm over it though. It was in the works. Besides there's this young lady I'm interested in now.


Monday, June 2, 2008

CAM says

I'm too harsh.
Exhibit A-

u know what...i really don't have the time or the effort for u and ur shenanigans. this shyt is going nowhere fast. ur rude and i think that u think that the sun rises and sets on yo ass. i'm not really sure who would put such foolishness in ur head but, i aint the one. ur really not that big of a deal. yeah the dack is on point, don't get me wrong...but outside of that, you, as a person, pretty much suck. i'm not sure if u think that i should be lucky or thankful that u grace me with ur dack every now and then or what. cause im really not. i could be fucking with a nigga that i can get sum steady dack from. but, yet, i continually try to fuck on u. fuck that and fuck u. and lemme reiterrate just in case u missed it the 1st time...UR REALLY NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL! so sat yo ass on the non-players bench and try again next season.
and thats one to grown on!

See thats not that bad. What do you think?

All I can say is he shouldn't have put me on hold. LOL!!!