Monday, December 29, 2008

It's True...I spoke on it...

I'll be damned!!! Mr. Smoke and Mirrors really does have heroin on his dack!!!

Lemme tell y'all what happened. Now I may not have all the finer details down pat but, you'll get the gist of the situation. This was told to me over sum illegals so lets see if I get the story right. If I don't Mr. Smoke and Mirrors will correct me in the comments, I'm sure.

Well to sum it up, Mr. Smoke and Mirrors went to the chick's house, who I must say seems quite the Amazon of women(6'2) and smoked with her and her brother. Said brother left and they fucked.

Wellllllllll in the morning, they woke up giving each other the googly eyes and shyt. Him thinking that they were gonna get it cracking again. Her, well, ummmm..ion thank she was giving him the googly eye. This bitch was having a damn seizure!!!

She took a kamikaze leap to the floor(Mr. S&M words, not mine)and got to shaking and shyt. On her way to the floor she must have hit her head on sumthing and got a big ass gash and was bleeding like a stuck pig. This is where it gets funny to me. All this is going on and Mr. S&M is bucket-naked! He's running around in a damn silly ass circle with his meat hanging out. He was worried that the chick's brother would come back down and catch his narrow naked ass standing over the bleeding chick and think the worst. He wreastles with her to turn her over, remember she's an Amazon and Mr. S&M is, as Thunda can say, skinty. So he gets a pillow under her head and called 911. They took the poor girl to the hospital. He had to sit there with her family and answer 1,001 questions about what had happened. I wonder if he told them the truth, that he sprinkles heroin on his dack. Cause that must be what happened. I refuse to believe that he doesn't after this episode. The truth shall set u free Mr. Smoke and Mirrors. The truth shall set u free.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

This Nicca aint shyt!

I.CAN'T.STAND.LITTLE BOY'S.DADDY!!!! AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGG! Every time I talk to this fool his antics piss me off more and more. He is a fucking buffoon and he likes to give off the illusion that he isn't. Ladies do not be fooled my this jack ass.

Lemme pose a scenario to you all....

I had a baby with my best-friends ex cut buddy. Majority of they cutting was in high school. Maybe an episode or 2 while grown(19-20 y/o). Me and him were in a quasi-relationship. Well that is until I got knocked up and he changed. Basically he thought he was gonna live with me and not contribute. Ummmmmm....N-O! Me and my friend both thought this nigga wasn't shyt and he could kick rocks since he wasn't taking care of his boy. We were gonna take care of this both with or without his ass.

Fast forward 9 fucking years later and all of a sudden these 2 feel they should be friends again. Ion care about all that. Be friends, nuthing wrong with that. But I know him..y'all know he tryna fuck on her and shyt. Will she fuck him..ion know... Allllls I know is she has yet to share with me that they speak. My thing is, if y'all ain't doing nuthing why y'all being all secretive and shyt? When I did talk to her about it, she said she felt it wasn't a big deal enough to tell me. Well, if one of y'all baby daddies start calling me and shyt imma let u know cause I don't want no shyt later on down the road.

Am I bugging????

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What was ur worst...

I know I've been away for awhile. Guess I kinda had writers block..or maybe I was just being lazy. Actually Imma blame all the folks over at YKYDAW for me being lax on here. I'm all on there telling them my biz and leaving y'all out. So i asked my new buncha inna-net frens what to blog about. Sum1, Acolyte i think, said the worst sex ever...well don't be expected sum long drawn out story..Bad sex=quick. But here it goes..

I had been seeing the dude in the bar for a few months...then one night we were pretty much there alone and started talking. Had alot in common...he was kinda cute and he was buying me drinks. So we talked for a few times...he took me out a few times...came by to smoke illegals. Doing pretty good.


OH MY GAWD! I finally let dude hit it and well...I still don't think we actually had sex. Sex means that the penis actually goes in the vagina. Right? Right? Well if we're going offa that, we never phucked. And his face game was even worse. How da hell is ur mouth cold. Not "let me be sexy with sum ice" cold. Just plain out, this is my normal temperature, cold. UUUUUGHHHH.....I noticed the cold when he kissed me off guard. That's a big NO-No for me. Ion be kissing strangas. But, since he wanted to kiss so.damn.bad. i gave him sumthing to kiss. Big ass mistake! That shyt felt even worse on Miss Kitty...**thinks I shouldn't name my lady parts after my dead granny** UPDATE! Miss Kitty is now to be referred to as TPFKAMK(the pussy formally known as Miss Kitty)!...she was so shocked at the coolness of his mouth that the party was over after that. I just laid there and smoked a blunt and waited for the ride to stop. He was all grunting and sweating like he was putting in work. No sir. Well needless to say we never tried that again. Now I call him BBD-Big Baby Dick-behind his back and we're just frens.

What about y'all worst??? You know I'm nosey....

P.S.-BBD if you ever read this please don't be mad. What I said couldn't possibly be a shock to you. I'm so certain I am not the only one who feels like this about you. Thats why you got a wife and how she deals with it is beyond me. But I still luv ya. We cool? Right?