Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Back at the slave camp.....

picking digital cotton for the man.

Uuuuggggh! A damn 3 day weekend wasted. I pretty much spent it on my deathbed. A bitch was ill y'all. It was like 1000 degrees yesterday and I'm in the crib swaddled in blankets like a newborn and shit.

Needless to say, goin to work today was not #1 on my list of fun shyt to do. I pretty much dicked around on the internet and made a few(by few I mean 3)calls that actually pertained to my job. I have come to the conclusion that I only like the black folks at my new gig. The white ones can pretty much kiss the full flatness of my ass. They put my desk across from the old pervy black dude there. Yeah, that's the ticket. Put me and my luscious 42DDs right across from his ass. Give him all day to say inappropriate shyt to me. I hate that shyt....OK I'm lying, it's actually kinda funny. He's safe, I won't tell.

Only to come home to this...

Big Boy: Momma! I hit a boy and he hit me back. His momma said she's gonna press charges!

Me: Do you have a note, 72, or a warrant for your arrest?

Big Boy: Nooooooooo.....

Me: What's this kid's name?

Big Boy: (insert ethic sounding 1st name here) Jackson

Me: Figures(mumbling that I'll kick his momma's ass). Well if you ain't got none of the above then fuck it!

Big Boy: I don't wanna go to jaaaaaiiiilllllll.

Me: Boy bye!

I know...hold your applause...I am the greatest parent ever!!! But, my kids are sum DRAMA KINGS!!!! They think that evvvvvvvvvvvverything is an emergency. I kinda(giving Little Boy the side-eye as he contemplates drinking my leftover cocktail from last night)ignore the fuck outta a lot of the nonsense that they tell me. I'm trying to get them to fight their own battles. I ain't no punk and neither are their fathers(so what). So, I don't get why they are so wimpy. I blame my momma. She doesn't want any of my male friends wrestling, slap boxing, kung fu fighting..none of that shit with her grandsons. That's a good way to get CPS called. Trust me, I know! LOL!!!