Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Drunk Ain't Shyt!!!!!

Man-oh-Man!!! Where dies the time go??? I know, I know, BAD BLOGGER! I know y'all look forward to my bullshyt. It's kinda like crack huh? But, nuthin has been going on really. I'm on a temp assignment with a group of event planners. What a bunch of high-strung batches! I swear! I already had to tell one of them the phrase of death--"Don't talk to me like that." Of course I said it in a syrupy-sweet, "non-threatening" way, through clenched teeth of course. If you know me, then you know, that is not a good thing if I have to tell you that. I think she got the hint. Personally, I think she's threatened by me. She needs not to be. I DON'T want her gig. Trust me! Dealing with Bride-Zillas everyday is not my idea of a good time.

Anywho...back to drunks aint shit....Basically I have been trying to lure various victims to my Above Ground Lair for about a week now and I am not getting everywhere. I mean I have tried old dudes, new dudes, strangers(not really). And no one is biting. What da hell is going on???? I'm trying to give away some prime, Grade A kitty and no one wants any. WTF?!?!? Well, long story short, I got ahold of C.A.M. last night, after smoking sum other unfortunate cat's illegals (this dude is not Grade A kitty worthy)and he assured me that he would come by and knock this shyt out. Welllllll, I woke up about 3 A.M. this morning, sans penis. Curses! Foiled again!! I did call him this afternoon to let him know that he aint shyt! All I got was a whole lotta empty ass apologizing and a promise for sum dack tonight. Talking about, he was sooooooooo drunk last night, he slept in his car. Sure you did, if by "car" u mean wrapped up in-be-twixt sum other chicks thighs. Nope, can't fool me twice. I won't be counting on that shyt. I guess me and my right hand have another date tonight(wink).