Monday, December 29, 2008

It's True...I spoke on it...

I'll be damned!!! Mr. Smoke and Mirrors really does have heroin on his dack!!!

Lemme tell y'all what happened. Now I may not have all the finer details down pat but, you'll get the gist of the situation. This was told to me over sum illegals so lets see if I get the story right. If I don't Mr. Smoke and Mirrors will correct me in the comments, I'm sure.

Well to sum it up, Mr. Smoke and Mirrors went to the chick's house, who I must say seems quite the Amazon of women(6'2) and smoked with her and her brother. Said brother left and they fucked.

Wellllllllll in the morning, they woke up giving each other the googly eyes and shyt. Him thinking that they were gonna get it cracking again. Her, well, ummmm..ion thank she was giving him the googly eye. This bitch was having a damn seizure!!!

She took a kamikaze leap to the floor(Mr. S&M words, not mine)and got to shaking and shyt. On her way to the floor she must have hit her head on sumthing and got a big ass gash and was bleeding like a stuck pig. This is where it gets funny to me. All this is going on and Mr. S&M is bucket-naked! He's running around in a damn silly ass circle with his meat hanging out. He was worried that the chick's brother would come back down and catch his narrow naked ass standing over the bleeding chick and think the worst. He wreastles with her to turn her over, remember she's an Amazon and Mr. S&M is, as Thunda can say, skinty. So he gets a pillow under her head and called 911. They took the poor girl to the hospital. He had to sit there with her family and answer 1,001 questions about what had happened. I wonder if he told them the truth, that he sprinkles heroin on his dack. Cause that must be what happened. I refuse to believe that he doesn't after this episode. The truth shall set u free Mr. Smoke and Mirrors. The truth shall set u free.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

This Nicca aint shyt!

I.CAN'T.STAND.LITTLE BOY'S.DADDY!!!! AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGG! Every time I talk to this fool his antics piss me off more and more. He is a fucking buffoon and he likes to give off the illusion that he isn't. Ladies do not be fooled my this jack ass.

Lemme pose a scenario to you all....

I had a baby with my best-friends ex cut buddy. Majority of they cutting was in high school. Maybe an episode or 2 while grown(19-20 y/o). Me and him were in a quasi-relationship. Well that is until I got knocked up and he changed. Basically he thought he was gonna live with me and not contribute. Ummmmmm....N-O! Me and my friend both thought this nigga wasn't shyt and he could kick rocks since he wasn't taking care of his boy. We were gonna take care of this both with or without his ass.

Fast forward 9 fucking years later and all of a sudden these 2 feel they should be friends again. Ion care about all that. Be friends, nuthing wrong with that. But I know him..y'all know he tryna fuck on her and shyt. Will she fuck him..ion know... Allllls I know is she has yet to share with me that they speak. My thing is, if y'all ain't doing nuthing why y'all being all secretive and shyt? When I did talk to her about it, she said she felt it wasn't a big deal enough to tell me. Well, if one of y'all baby daddies start calling me and shyt imma let u know cause I don't want no shyt later on down the road.

Am I bugging????

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What was ur worst...

I know I've been away for awhile. Guess I kinda had writers block..or maybe I was just being lazy. Actually Imma blame all the folks over at YKYDAW for me being lax on here. I'm all on there telling them my biz and leaving y'all out. So i asked my new buncha inna-net frens what to blog about. Sum1, Acolyte i think, said the worst sex ever...well don't be expected sum long drawn out story..Bad sex=quick. But here it goes..

I had been seeing the dude in the bar for a few months...then one night we were pretty much there alone and started talking. Had alot in common...he was kinda cute and he was buying me drinks. So we talked for a few times...he took me out a few times...came by to smoke illegals. Doing pretty good.


OH MY GAWD! I finally let dude hit it and well...I still don't think we actually had sex. Sex means that the penis actually goes in the vagina. Right? Right? Well if we're going offa that, we never phucked. And his face game was even worse. How da hell is ur mouth cold. Not "let me be sexy with sum ice" cold. Just plain out, this is my normal temperature, cold. UUUUUGHHHH.....I noticed the cold when he kissed me off guard. That's a big NO-No for me. Ion be kissing strangas. But, since he wanted to kiss so.damn.bad. i gave him sumthing to kiss. Big ass mistake! That shyt felt even worse on Miss Kitty...**thinks I shouldn't name my lady parts after my dead granny** UPDATE! Miss Kitty is now to be referred to as TPFKAMK(the pussy formally known as Miss Kitty)!...she was so shocked at the coolness of his mouth that the party was over after that. I just laid there and smoked a blunt and waited for the ride to stop. He was all grunting and sweating like he was putting in work. No sir. Well needless to say we never tried that again. Now I call him BBD-Big Baby Dick-behind his back and we're just frens.

What about y'all worst??? You know I'm nosey....

P.S.-BBD if you ever read this please don't be mad. What I said couldn't possibly be a shock to you. I'm so certain I am not the only one who feels like this about you. Thats why you got a wife and how she deals with it is beyond me. But I still luv ya. We cool? Right?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

That Was My Jam!!!

BoogieMonsters! 'Nuff said!

or thier 1st

Monday, November 24, 2008


You know what? I was gonna clown the hell outta sumbody's daddy. But, I aint got the time or the energy for that mess tonight. Little Boy done got suspended AGAIN from school and I just can't take the pressure. So just get a gander at the wonderfulness that is TVC1954

Name: TVC1954
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 235
State: IL
Ethnicity: Black / African descent
Orientation: Straight
Expectation: None. Depends on your game.

And the best thing I have seen since..hell ion know...whenever

**DEAD** is that in the 2nd pic? "My First Microwave"???? Jesus be a gift card to Best Buy for X-Mas.


Wanna know who I hate?? I HATE T-Pain!!!

I came to this conclusion last night watching the AMAs. UUUUUUGGGHHHH....he makes me itch. Ion care how much that shyt in his mouth costs, hell he could prolly buy me and you with the $ that he spends on his mouth. But, that shyt looks nasty and wack as hell. Please don't get me started on his dreads and that damn TOP HAT. Really? Ur wearing a damn top hat for what reason T-Pain? What made u say to urself," Hmmmmm...maybe I should incorporate a top hat in my daily wardrobe."? Whatever it was, you should stay away from that shyt.

And is he or is he not the epitome of a fucking coon??? Ole Coony McCoon ass nigga. Got his gat damn ass on stage with Chris Brown and can't even close his damn mouth. That shyt looks like it smells rank. I almost wanna call his Step 'n Fetchit ass a damn NIGGER. Yeah I said it. Whatcha gonna do about it T-Pain? CAM said his security team would whoop my azz. Well it would be well worth it. Ole Niggy Tardust, looking like a damn chewed up Tootsie-Roll ass nigga. UUUGGGHHH!!!

OK. I'm done. Proceed with ur day.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

10 Days

I saw this over at BlackShoes WhiteSocks and I thought I would give it a try.

10 days that were important in my life or made a significant impact on who I am

1. The day Big Boy was born-being adopted, I had never seen anyone that looked like me before.

2. The day my dad beat my ass-I had gone 14 years without this ever happening.

3. The day I found out my parents were getting a divorce-Seeing my dad's empty closet was crushing.

4. The day that Stinkums confirmed that he did indeed have a new baby-I knew it all along really. Just needed the confirmation.

5. The day that Big Boy's father put his hands on me for the 1st time-I've been quite beasty since then. Trust me. You don't wanna find out about it.

6. The day my best friend Kim died-I still feel like there was something I could have done.

7. The day my mother told me in a fit of rage that I really wasn't part of her family-Don't even wanna comment on that.

8. The day I found out that I wouldn't be getting my hearing back-Plug both your ears, welcome to my world.

9. The day I asked my dad to stop smoking crack for his grandkids sake and he told me no-I learned that I never wanted to do any drug that would control my life.

10. The day that I attempted suicide for the 1st time-Pills really aint the ticket. Or razors for that matter. Next time I know to go out with a BANG!

Friday, November 7, 2008

My Eyyyyyes!!!!

Damn you Fresh!!!!!

What in the bacon loving hell is this????!!!!???

And I'mma tell you whats real fucked up about the whole situation....I bet she get PAID!


Friday, October 31, 2008

Quality vs. Quantity

This is gonna be real short....

I was talking to Mr. Smoke and Mirrors the other night and u wanna know that this fool said to me???

He would rather have 10 ones instead of 1 ten.


Basically, he would rather have a gang of busted ass broads than to have one hot, scrum-diddly-umptious bird.

Really? Really? I can't even call it.

Mr. Smoke and Mirrors, what say you??? We demand answers!!!!

P.S. Momma Smoke and Mirrors was right. You know yo ass was out there Booty-Scooting!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

That Was My Jam!!!

I didn't really forget to do this yesterday. I was a little busy yesterday. Little Boy's birthday party is Saturday and I was doing some stuff for that. it is. Do y'all remember when gangs were super prevelant? I guess they still bang on the east and west coast. But, here in Milwaukee, you don't really see it as much anymore. "But, I know they out there. Standing around with they hoodies on waiting to snatch my purse"(directly from my momma's mouth, she so damn scary).

I thought I was hard as hell sanging these damn songs.

What set did you rep???

Monday, October 27, 2008

You ain't gotta lie to kick it!

Man! WTF is up with dudes these days???? If I have one more nicca's girlfriend contact me....I swear, it's gonna be one. She is gonna have to **say it with me** Find Out About It!

Long story short, this cat I had been talking to for about 2 weeks, girlfriend texted me yesterday. She wasn't all brolic or nuthing like that (even though she called me a TRICK), it was just the fact that she contacted me. I didn't even bother to give her my usual horse and pony show that I usually give when some one's other contacts me. I didn't even have it in me yesterday. But, she did say something to me, she left me a voicemail, that kinda made me laugh. Basically, she said that I NEED to respect her and their relationship. Ummmmmmmm...NO! NEVERENDING doesn't need to do anything. I did advise her that I asked dude if he had an "other" and he told me no. Sounds to me like SHE needs to have a conversation with HIM about respecting THEIR relationship.

What has happened in the world that cats think that its A O-Kay to have a main chick and whatever dummy(me)on the side??? I mean gee! If ur not ready to settle down, then don't. And the thing about it is, if a guy would be forthcoming and honest about the situation, I just may have been with it. I mean, shyt, we don't even live in the same state. It wasn't all that serious to be lying and whatnot.**Le sigh** Men will never learn.

What is it exactly that they get from doing shyt like that?? Is it funny? Does it make them feel like they're "The Man"? Can men be nymphos??? Cause I truly think it's about the sex. Seeing as, initially, I met him on a sex site. Hmmmmm??? I wonder if she knows that her guy is running around showing folks, what's supposed to be just for her??? Well, he need not worry, I won't tell. I ain't even like that. She did leave me her phone number like I was gonna call her and shyt. Nah,I think I'll pass. That is, here it comes folks, unless she's proper ass hell and digs fat chicks. There. I said it. Y'all know how I do.

P.S. Yeah Yeah Yeah I know Stinkums, I could be blogging about all the wonderful things that you do. But, this is so much more entertaining. You know folks like drama!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

That Was My Jam!!!

See..I'm getting pretty good at remembering to do this.

Today we have E.U. and "Da Butt". This song was featured in the movie School Daze and on my step-mommas tape deck on Saturdays when she cleaned up for about 2 months. They never really caught on in the rest of the U.S., prolly cause don't nobody like Go-Go music but folks over in D.C. But this song was pretty hawt for the time.

They had this cut too. I still listen to this one.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Hellllllllllllllllllllll Naw!

I was over at Nicole Bitchie's today and saw this little gem right here! I am sooooo glad I didn't look at this at work. Cause when I saw! Speechless.

I NEED to know the background on this travesty! Po thang was prolly tryna shake it up for her Boo and then THIS happened. What I really wanna know is, who da hell put this on da net??? Cause if I sent this to my friend like "Girl, look what happened to my dumb ass today!" and she in-turn put it out there like that, we would so fight.

I like how she just laid there after she fell. Man! Ion even know what else to say.

**dead at 'We Fall Down' playing in the background**

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

That Was My Jam!!!

Today's Jam is Groove Me by Guy. That song was my jam fa' real. I even remember my uncle swiging by my house on a warm summer day, tossing me a copy of the tape and smashing off. I had seen the video for Groove Me and I Like by then so I was pretty excited. I guess I don't have to tell you what my 12 year old ears knew then. This damn albulm was a certified banger! I used to listen to this on my walkman all.the.time. You had sum fast cuts to get ya boggie on with and then you had some slow jams to be fast with(wink). I still bang the hell out of their first two albulms to this day.
Imma tell you what I did see the other day that put Guy on my mind. I'll be damned if I didn't see a girl get on the bus that looked JUST LIKE Aaron Hall. Then to my amazement, another one got on! Twins! Well I'll be damned. I think that maybe their moms musta got with Aaron when he was here on tour back in the day and these were the fruits of their love fest. But, damn why they had to look just like the nicca? I mean they had on glasses and everything. LOL! Oh well, I bet that incident of groupie love didn't turn out the way she wanted it.
Universal Music won't allow me to embed this video. So, click the link to see sum straight up New Jack Swing!
And by the way, yeah, I know. Who, at 12, has songs to be fast with at 12? Me! That's who. Don't judge me. Y'all know I'm fragile.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Tell me how you feel...

Don't I sound sincere? Lol! Like I really care about y'all's feelings.

I was reading a friends of mine blog today and she was bringing up sum pretty valid points. One of them was about dudes being Booty calls. How does that make you guys feel? When that certain chick calls you and you know she only wants one thing. Y'all know how I get down. I just want a dude to come though, do his thang and then roll the fuck out. I ain't tyna marry u, be ya Boo, hold u down, nunna that shyt. It's just not the right time in my life for all that. People always ask me when I'm going to "settle down". See the issue with that is the "settle" part. That word makes me think I'm losing out. Why should I settle for anything?

Guys, do you feel that a woman who is only interested in the wham, bam, thank you ma'am is a hoe? I mean gee-whiz, men have been slutting around for ages and it seems to be socially acceptable for that to happen. But, the minute a woman does it, she's a hoe, she's a slut, she's a freak. I don't feel that way and I know quite a few women that don't either. I think the tables have turned(finally) and guys can't handle being "used".

Tell me how you feel guys.

Can't you just feel the sympathy oozing as I type????

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Ok, I'm scared now...

This nicca right here


Every time I log onto Onlinebootycall ,this micky-ficky is on there trying to get me to be on his Booty Call list. and thank you.

What da hell is up with that hair???!!!??? Im so confused. It's not quite a mullet yet, not quite a full "curl". I wanna see it from the back. A bitch needs a 360 o this fool. Ion know. Well I just thought I'd share this one with y'all.

Here's another tasty treat to make u join OBC and get you summa dude.

Height: 5'8"
Weight: 225
State: WI
Ethnicity: Other
Orientation: Straight
Expectation: Meet new people

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

That Was My Jam!!!

I know I'm late. I didn't forget. My wireless connection that I "borrow" from my neighbors was acking funky last night. So. I'm doing it now. Sue me.

I love, love, love this video. What more could you want? Boxing, break dancing, and the ever so sexy Charlie Wilson and his birdcage chest all wet and shiny. But that curl nicca, that curl is the TRUTH! You know they had some money, cause ain't no po ass nicca getting his curl wet! LOL! Oh yeah, Robert and Ronnie Wilson are in the video too. Nuthing much to talk about there. Ronnie's shirt is super tight and Robert clearly wants some camera time. But, Charlie wasn't having it. Prolly thought he was gonna be the star-ra cause he had the "looks". Negitivo on that one. Charlie stole the show. Ronnie already knew what the business was, he didn't even try, po thang.

Good times, good times.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

That Was My Jam Tuesdays!!

I guess I'm going to try to do this every Tuesday from here on out. It came to me outta sheer boredom at work. Bored=YouTube in my book. So without further ado, here is my 1st contribution:

Who remembers this dood? And where the hell is he now? I guess that Biv10 deal didn't take him very far. He was kinda sexy in a 1990's light-skinned brother type of way. I actually surprised myself the other day by knowing alllllll the damn words to this song. I must have felt very strongly about some damn Oochie Coochie back in the day.

Let's not forget his attempt at a rap ballad.

Good times. Good times.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Awwwww....I lost a friend

Meh...who cares? Not me of course. Truth be told, she was one sexy ass chick, whose ass I would have loved to wax. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, she decided she wasn't feeling me. Why, you may ask would she not like the Fantabulous Neverending? Cause I said I wasn't attracted to a mutual friend of ours. Her and dude do what they do. And, I guess the plan was for me to do that with them. But, as for me, nah, I'll pass. Dude is hella cool, he's just not for The Kid.

See, she thinks I'm materialistic/superficial because I have to have a dude with sum swag to em. I mean, gee, a nicca gotta look and smell good cause 1/2 the damn time I have no clue what the nicca is saying(y'all know I'm deafer than a mutherphucker)anyways. And, it's not just the clothes, it's the whole attitude and demeanor. I love a cocky ass dude. I think thats kinda weird cause, I'm quick to tell a nicca he ain't shyt. LOL! But, deep down, I know I love a nicca that thinks he's all that and is. What I can't stand is the dusty, old ass AF1 wearing, neck stretched out on ya white-t, grimy jeans wearing cat that thinks his shat don't stink. I got news fa ya hommie, Ya Aint All That. Trust and believe. I will let it be known. Ur talking to the same chick that was addressing the weed man as Box, as in Dirt Box, one night after the club closed in Iowa. And told him what I was saying too. So my love of everything swagerific runs deep. My hatred for all things dusty and gloomy runs deeper.

I'm trying to raise sum men over here. I can't let my boys see me with just any old rusty, dusty cat that smiles my way. Then, they will think it's o.k. for them to be that way and still be able to pull a decent chick. Nope! Nada! Ain't happening. Big Boy's dad used to dress sooooooooooo nice, not really sure what happened there. Now he's all old and outdated. Hopefully the fact that I always tell Big Boy I ain't thinking about his dusty ass daddy will sink in. Now, Little Boy's father dresses really nice. But, we all know, that he doesn't dress himself. Whoever is dressing him, I say GOOD JOB! Cause, he's come a long way. He used to be that dusty dude. Yeah I know, I had a baby with the nicca. Well, I was young and dumb and called myself "stepping out"(that's what my granny calls it)on Big Boy's dad and got caught up in sum boolshyt. It's ok. Players fuck up. I learned my lesson. I'll never travel down that long, dusty road again.

If ya got that swag, holla at me in the comments!

Farewell, lovely light skinned with the big bazungas! We could have made beautiful music together.**drops tear for the butt nekid frenzy that would have ensued, if only I didn't open my big mouth**

You can get with Twit or you can get with That

Twitter me this Batman....How can you keep up with Neverendingchase on the go? Come Twitter with me. My Twitter Id is Neverendinchase.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Players fuck up sometimes too....

I've been so neglectful. I know you all prolly hate me. I kinda figured that out after the 1st couple of "Bitch where u been?" emails. Maybe if I got more comments, instead of emails, I would blog more often...Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Well nuthin too much has been going on. Little Boy started football a few weeks ago. I love my baby y'all but I swear, he is the slowest running little fucker out there on the field. I guess he's having a hard time dragging all that ass he got piled high on his back. LOL! **Dang, maybe I shouldn't be saying that. I don't want any pedophiles googling Little Boy** Lemme tell y'all this shyt right here. I called Little Boy's "father", I use that term veeeeeery loosely, to see if he would cough up the $80 for him to play. I figure out of damn near 9 years, I could get a measly $80. Nope, no dice. He ain't got it. Of course. But, see, when you don't work and don't hustle and all you have the the allowance your new baby momma gives u everyday like sum damn milk money, then I guess you stay broke. Well long story short, Stinkems gave him the money to play. Welllllll, now all of a sudden, Deadbeat wants to come to the games. No problem there. But, it's after the game that we run into issues. You know this fool be tryna come over after the game and fuck. thanks, I'll pass on that. He is soooooo 1999. Im good. Besides, he has yet ANOTHER new baby. When will he learn. I guess all I can say to the new Baby Momma is, "Good luck with that, girl". She's gonna need it.

Lemme see...what else....

Found sum new penis! YES! And it's the greatest!!! Annnnnnnnd he knows his position. We do what we do, and then he takes his ass home. JACKPOT! YAY PENIS! I would tell y'all about some of the escapades but, this ain't that type of blog. Just know that it's scandalous. But, if u want the full details, please send a check or money order to:

4835 North..Yeah right. I ain't that damn stupid. LOL!!!

I guess thats all Boo-Boo Kitty Fucks.

Lemme do sum damn work before somebody figures out I ain't got shyt to do.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Drunk Ain't Shyt!!!!!

Man-oh-Man!!! Where dies the time go??? I know, I know, BAD BLOGGER! I know y'all look forward to my bullshyt. It's kinda like crack huh? But, nuthin has been going on really. I'm on a temp assignment with a group of event planners. What a bunch of high-strung batches! I swear! I already had to tell one of them the phrase of death--"Don't talk to me like that." Of course I said it in a syrupy-sweet, "non-threatening" way, through clenched teeth of course. If you know me, then you know, that is not a good thing if I have to tell you that. I think she got the hint. Personally, I think she's threatened by me. She needs not to be. I DON'T want her gig. Trust me! Dealing with Bride-Zillas everyday is not my idea of a good time.

Anywho...back to drunks aint shit....Basically I have been trying to lure various victims to my Above Ground Lair for about a week now and I am not getting everywhere. I mean I have tried old dudes, new dudes, strangers(not really). And no one is biting. What da hell is going on???? I'm trying to give away some prime, Grade A kitty and no one wants any. WTF?!?!? Well, long story short, I got ahold of C.A.M. last night, after smoking sum other unfortunate cat's illegals (this dude is not Grade A kitty worthy)and he assured me that he would come by and knock this shyt out. Welllllll, I woke up about 3 A.M. this morning, sans penis. Curses! Foiled again!! I did call him this afternoon to let him know that he aint shyt! All I got was a whole lotta empty ass apologizing and a promise for sum dack tonight. Talking about, he was sooooooooo drunk last night, he slept in his car. Sure you did, if by "car" u mean wrapped up in-be-twixt sum other chicks thighs. Nope, can't fool me twice. I won't be counting on that shyt. I guess me and my right hand have another date tonight(wink).

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Neverending cycle

Have you ever heard sum news that just floored you. Well with my "ex" Stinkem told me that he's contemplating getting hitched. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW(insert Flava Flav face here)! I mean contemplate, I mean like these sumamabitches got rangs and everythang. Not really sure how I feel about all of that. Hows that for a damn how-do-ya-do? I aint gonna do nuthing silly...I guess technically I could if I wanted to. But I'm not. Maybe I'll bust a move like this......

Man! Does this mean no more good dack????

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Al Green is my PASTUH!!!!

I think I had the Holy Ghost a little off of this one**waving right hand to God/left hand over heart/eyes closed tight** Do yourself a favor and take a listen. So, turn whatever random bullshit that is playing to the right, the fuck off and get you sum 'ligion this Sunday morning!

And of course, I had to be under the influence of illegals when I saw it. But, hey, u never know how or where he'll make Himself known to you. I just happened to be up smoking and watching an old ass episode of Soul Train.

Hot shit!! Oooops can you say a gospel song is hot shit??? Y'all know what I mean. I'm saying my prayers and going to bed. I think I may have had some sort of revelation. Maybe He is waiting for me........

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Come and get ur daddy PLEASE

I was browsing around OBC today and lo and behold, look who wants to have a bootycall

Height: 5'10"
Weight: 180
State: WI
Ethnicity: Black / African descent
Orientation: Straight
Expectation: Friends first, benefits later

ORLY! GTFOH!!! Are you serious???? Yeah lemme get right on that. Das exactly what I'm looking for! A damn Cat-Daddy! What would make him think that a fine, young tender-roni' such as myself, would be interested???? I guess I gotta Give him an 'A' for effort. Talking about his expectations are "Friends first, benefits later". What da hell kinda benefits? Social Security? Medicare? He is killing me softly with that pank ass(what is that rayon? silk?)short set. I bet you 2 Crispy Ranch Snack Wraps(no lettuce, extra ranch)that he has on some sort of slip-n-slides on with no socks. Y/N? I'm too dead that this shyt right here. Well put me in my casket and bury me a G!!! I'm done!

P.S. If you reading this, Mr. Old Dude, if u wanna come by in your El Dorado and share your Meals on Wheels lunch with me, I guess that would be cool. It's better than what I have going on currently.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stop the press! Who's that?

Great day in the morning!!!!! Have you ever seen such Big Boy Sexy before??? OMG!!!! Rick Ross is the truth!!!! He, to me, is the epitome of sexy. The things I would to to all of that...mmmmmmmmmmm man boobs! And to think that he's dating Foxxy Brown scorches my grits! So I'm putting an open invite to the heffa to an old fashion beat down. He needs a big girl to show him the Way, the Truth, and the Light. She doesn't know what to do with all of that. I do! Trust and believe. Well lemme go and dry my tears.....

Thursday, June 19, 2008

79 Missed Calls

My guy Mr. Smoke and Mirrors is over here tonight indulging in sum illegals with me and this cat's phone is off the meter. This chick has been calling him since about 9:15. As of right now we are at call 79! WHO DA FUCK calls sumbody like that? What is that fucking important? He thinks it's the dack. I had to ask him if he dips his shyt in heroin or sumthing? That would be a fucked up trick to play on a bitch. I would only want HIS dack. No other dack would do it for me. Pussy lips looking like Pookie's dry ass mouth. Willing to to anything for THAT dack. LOL!

Lemme shut my high ass up.....

P.S. I think she's just silly.


I know somebody’s gonna get mad when I say this. I know it’s a generalization….. but these Milwaukee dudes are crazy! Why is it sooooo hard to meet a nice guy? Why do guys try to talk to you and upon rejection they want to tell you how u aint this and that? Why do things have to get soooooooooo ugly? Why is every Milwaukee cat against dating? Why do all Milwaukee cats wanna get down but they say they aint “trix”? Everything on u is cool. Ur gas, ur time and whatever else you decide to add to the mix yet they don’t even have the common sense to buy a rubber if u wanted to give them sum.

Why is something simple as dating like pullin teeth? R the guys really that broke or just that damn cheap? What happened to chivalry? Why does a guy feel like if he takes you out hes a trick?

If you’ve been to a swing party (more than one) does that make u a swinger? Why does that turn a man on until he finds out that he cant cut? Why can a guy have the same amount of lovers but you be considered promiscuous and he not be? He's a player, pimp and ur a hoodrat, a bopper a jumpdown. did i miss something?

I thought I had found my new baby daddy. Nuthin lost nuthin gained. Well actually I’ve gained good friend/partner/lover. A cheap Milwaukee nigga’s loss, another’s gain. I’m good but im jus sayin. When does the vicious cycle end. The cycle where a guy is a trick if hes nice to a girl or “spends money” and if the guy don’t spend no money then the girl says he cant get none. Really the circle has to stop somewhere……

Remember this:

Anything worth havin is worth earning
Nothing meaningful is easy
You get what u pay for

I could go on and on but I wont. Not today anyways……

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Stepping to da mike......

I have been having issues with keeping y'all updated on a daily sooooooooooooo I'm going to start having guest contributors. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....sounds fancy don't it????

Taking a stab at y'all 1st will be my girl Meltz! She, like me, is a natural DIVA! But, don't get it twisted, she'll verbally cut yo ass down to size. I swear she was gonna whoop the nurses ass after I had my youngest. U'll have to ask her about that one. : )

So without further ado........

MELTZ!!!!!! Where u at girl??!!??

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Speak up! I can't hear ya!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey boo-boo kitty fucks!!! How y'all be? Wondering where I've been?? I know folks read this shyt, they just don't comment. How do I know? Cause they call and tell me. Leave a comment, then maybe others will too! :)


Guess what! I can't fuckin hear! If you know me, then you know that I haven't been able to hear in my left ear for over 7 years. Fine no problem, I have another one. Well now I starting to lose the hearing in my damn right ear! What kind of "Jesus Doesn't Love Me, This I Know" shyt is that? It's kinda scary. I talk on the damn phone for a living! Ummmmmmmm how da hell is that gonna work if a bytch can't hear??? I guess I really will be po', broke, and lonely. Damn! Speaking of which, who dates the deaf girl??? Nobody, that's who. All this cuteness going to waste. Niccas will be like "she's cute but, I can't talk to her cause DA BITCH CAN'T HEAR" Riiiiiiiiiiight...this scenario is getting better and better by the minute.

I bet Big Boy nd Little Boy will think this is the greatest thing since I "lost"(by lost I mean I think they threw it away)my big belt. I can see it now, cause I sure can't hear it, these little nigglets will be around here doing and saying anything. Damn!

You would think that as nosey as I am, by now I would have mastered the fine art of reading lips. Oh well...I'm going to do sum illegals and go back to sleep...

"Blindness cuts you off from things but, deafness cuts you off from people"
Helen Keller

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Well, that's that.

Me and CAM are officially over.

Today IS my birthday mind you. What did I get? A series of IMs and a phone call with "the otha chick"! Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Just what I always wanted. It really wasn't that bad. I talked to her for about a hour. Really the only conclusions I came to were A) CAM needs a fucking leash and B)This chica is special. Alls I know is at the end of the conversation, I was left with the impression that she is gonna stay with him regardless. I told her myself that she deserves better than that(she's kinda cute, if she happens to read his, HOLLA!).

I'm over it though. It was in the works. Besides there's this young lady I'm interested in now.


Monday, June 2, 2008

CAM says

I'm too harsh.
Exhibit A-

u know what...i really don't have the time or the effort for u and ur shenanigans. this shyt is going nowhere fast. ur rude and i think that u think that the sun rises and sets on yo ass. i'm not really sure who would put such foolishness in ur head but, i aint the one. ur really not that big of a deal. yeah the dack is on point, don't get me wrong...but outside of that, you, as a person, pretty much suck. i'm not sure if u think that i should be lucky or thankful that u grace me with ur dack every now and then or what. cause im really not. i could be fucking with a nigga that i can get sum steady dack from. but, yet, i continually try to fuck on u. fuck that and fuck u. and lemme reiterrate just in case u missed it the 1st time...UR REALLY NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL! so sat yo ass on the non-players bench and try again next season.
and thats one to grown on!

See thats not that bad. What do you think?

All I can say is he shouldn't have put me on hold. LOL!!!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Let me ask a quick question

Let's say there is a set of Siamese twins. They have their own functioning brain and they just share legs. IF,one of them were to rob a bank and on the video footage and all eye witness accounts the other one was clearly not down with the shyt. He's telling the other one not to do it and he's screaming "I'm not a part of this shyt!!" How do they get sentenced? Do they have to go to jail? Would they go to some sort of hospital? House arrest? Alls I know is, if I was the "good" one, I'D.BE.PISSED.DA.PHUCK.OFF!

Weed is a helluva drug.


You know who I can't stand??????

MY MOMMA!!!!!!! Oooooooooo-weeeeeeeeeeeee! That little black ass lady know she gets on my very last nerve! Y'all know I got Big Boy and Little Boy, right? Well, you would have thought that she laid up on that table and pushed those big-headed jerks out. She always got some damn input on how they should be raised, what they should eat, what they should wear...blah blah blizzy-blah! When I was coming up, my granny let her do her thang. Whatever she wanted to do, whatever dusty ass negro she wanted to live with us, whatever social security number(mine)she she wanted to work under, my granny didn't bat an eyelash. So I really don't know where all this shyt comes from(insert blank stare here). Maybe she's just lonely. Or maybe she feels that she failed as a parent. Ion know. What I do know is, talking to her makes my ass itch. She should just send a note or sumthing. I wish!

She likes to think we don't get along cause I'm bi-polar. Nope! That ain't it. We don't get along cause I'm grown and she can't understand that. She likes to think that I argue with her cause I'm "off my meds". Nope! That ain't it either. We don't get along cause I won't let her run my household. I've even offered her to have my boys, just so that I don't have to deal with her. I know, that ain't right. So you know it must be bad. LOL! The funny thing about the whole situation is that, she doesn't even like kids. Trust me, I know, I was kid in her house once. I know how she gets down(ask me about the hot curling irons). Always screaming she gonna get foster kid. Oh no! Not if they gotta ask me anything, she won't. Cause I'm singing like a bird.

I've gone as far as to tell her that it costs X amount of dollars to run my house. If she pays that, she can do whatever da hell she wants to do in here. I'm still waiting on that dough.

BTW, if there are any cute dudes reading this, the offer stands for you too(wink wink). Ya just can't be dusty, my momma turned me off to y'all a long time ago.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The way I woke up.......

Back hurts.....head hurts.....hip hurts(don't ask). So I'm not doing shyt at work today. The 1st person that asks me to do something will feel my wrath!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Back at the slave camp.....

picking digital cotton for the man.

Uuuuggggh! A damn 3 day weekend wasted. I pretty much spent it on my deathbed. A bitch was ill y'all. It was like 1000 degrees yesterday and I'm in the crib swaddled in blankets like a newborn and shit.

Needless to say, goin to work today was not #1 on my list of fun shyt to do. I pretty much dicked around on the internet and made a few(by few I mean 3)calls that actually pertained to my job. I have come to the conclusion that I only like the black folks at my new gig. The white ones can pretty much kiss the full flatness of my ass. They put my desk across from the old pervy black dude there. Yeah, that's the ticket. Put me and my luscious 42DDs right across from his ass. Give him all day to say inappropriate shyt to me. I hate that shyt....OK I'm lying, it's actually kinda funny. He's safe, I won't tell.

Only to come home to this...

Big Boy: Momma! I hit a boy and he hit me back. His momma said she's gonna press charges!

Me: Do you have a note, 72, or a warrant for your arrest?

Big Boy: Nooooooooo.....

Me: What's this kid's name?

Big Boy: (insert ethic sounding 1st name here) Jackson

Me: Figures(mumbling that I'll kick his momma's ass). Well if you ain't got none of the above then fuck it!

Big Boy: I don't wanna go to jaaaaaiiiilllllll.

Me: Boy bye!

I know...hold your applause...I am the greatest parent ever!!! But, my kids are sum DRAMA KINGS!!!! They think that evvvvvvvvvvvverything is an emergency. I kinda(giving Little Boy the side-eye as he contemplates drinking my leftover cocktail from last night)ignore the fuck outta a lot of the nonsense that they tell me. I'm trying to get them to fight their own battles. I ain't no punk and neither are their fathers(so what). So, I don't get why they are so wimpy. I blame my momma. She doesn't want any of my male friends wrestling, slap boxing, kung fu fighting..none of that shit with her grandsons. That's a good way to get CPS called. Trust me, I know! LOL!!!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Priority vs. Option

OK, so I have been seeing(fucking)CAM since the summer of '06. We have the most unhealthy type of relationship possible. While I put forth as much effort possible, he...well...doesn't. I do all the calling, texting, and emailing. The problem is, while I shouldn't want this dude, I love him to death. The thing that makes the situation so much more "extra" is that i know he doesn't feel the same.

Well last week he went to ATL for his daughter's kindergarten graduation and I call him. Mind you before he left all I got was a series of text messages telling me that he "needs some" before his trip. Truth be told, I was thinking the same thing. But, he, of course, was pressed for time and we didn't get the deed in. So I call him after he had been gone and this is the convo

Me: Did you make it alright? Ur breathing? Are you being good?

CAM: Yeah i got here, I'm at my daughters graduation.

Me: Well tell her I said good job and..

CAM: (cuts me off totally) My daughter is talking to click apply if ur on a cell phone?)

Hold the fuck on!!!! You hung up on me 'cause a freaking 5 y/o is talking to you??? WTF is up with that? My kids know that if they see my phone on my ear, they don't speak to me unless it's a fucking emergency! I know, I know...I'm being a bitch right? I know it was her special day and all. But, what she doesn't know is that her daddy presents me with his penis on a regular basis and I feel that kinda gives me some kind of one-up on her. It does doesn't it?? Couldn't he had just told her to hold on for a sec, daddy's on the phone? Oh well. That whole situation prompted me to send him a text. I wished i had saved it. But it basically said that I'm not some bootleg bitch and refuse to be treated as such. I am not an OPTION! I am a PRIORITY! And if he can't treat me as such, then I'm done. I erased his number from my phone and set my phone to just accept calls from folks I have saved in my contacts. That was on Thursday. I have no clue if he has called or not. Let's see how long this lasts. I'm officially on strike!

Who? Me? A virgin?

Hello world. This is a new blog for me. So, while I'm not quite a virgin, I'm not a blog slut either. My other one was quite...errrr ummmm.....anonymous to say the least. So now I'm out in the open for everybody to see. I have come to a point in my life where I feel that I shouldn't be ashamed or feel sorry of anything that I do or say. Keep checking back and tell your friends!